Daisy Swan, new guest contributor to
LA Yoga Magazine!
Read her first article in the July/August 2012 issue, here…
Listen for Truth, Find the Time
By Daisy Swan
Daisy Swan Makes News!
On Monday, April 16, during the 11 PM airing of Los Angeles’ CBS 2 News, Daisy appeared in a segment about women and their careers versus men and their careers. If you missed the broadcast, take a look at Daisy’s interview on the subject…you might be surprised at the findings in this feature! Watch now
Daisy quoted Inland Valley Daily Bulletin – Job Security is a Top Concern
The Politics of Love When it happens in the Workplace
When Amy took a new job at as an Asset Manager last December she never thought she could fall for a quirky guy like Stuart, her new supervisor, who was just not her type. But less than two months and several business trips later, the man she jokingly referred to as her “work husband” was all she could think about.
It’s not unusual for people to find love in the workplace; in fact some, like Los Angeles based Career Counselor and Strategist Daisy Swan of Daisy Swan & Associates, believe it makes sense. That’s because according to Swan “proximity has so much to do with who we get to know and love.” The tendency for people to grow attracted to people they see and interact with regularly is known as the “propinquity effect” and may explain why people like Amy’s feelings can go from cold to sizzling hot the more familiar they become with someone. And when that means daily meetings, working lunches and late night deadlines it can become next to impossible to fight those laws of attraction.
As for the repercussions “love at work can become a tangle of politics, awkward social issues, and gossip,” says Swan as she spells out the dangers of inter-office dating. So how can you avoid an attraction which may have career repercussions, and what should you do when the person in the next office may be the right one for you?
There will always be people who have poor intentions, others who simply get-off on special attention and those who take a unique approach to climbing the corporate ladder. “No company wants to face sexual harassment charges that grow out of flirtations gone awry.” says Swan. To avoid this and other types of dangerous office dating scenarios, understand the person with whom you are dealing as well as the source of their emotions. If someone has a professional track record of dating down/up, don’t ignore the warning signs.
As for yourself, take time to figure out if the attraction is situational or real. It’s easy to fall for someone when that person is a superstar in the office, but would they still rock your world if you pulled them off the pedestal and interacted with them outside of their own element?
If trust and all sensibilities are in check, “it is possible for couples who work together to manage the situation tactfully and intelligently so that both people can keep their reputations and professionalism intact” advises Swan. Here are her tips to help you proceed safely and smartly:
- Before getting involved with anyone at work, review any office or company policy about intimate relationships within the organization. Some companies have had so many issues with co-workers becoming involved that their policies may actively discourage these entanglements.
- Recognize that if you are getting romantically involved with someone who is senior to you, you will most likely end up leaving your job, whether or not your relationship flourishes or ends. Most companies aren’t comfortable with the politics of relationships and eventually it becomes clear that someone needs to move on; rarely is it the person who has more seniority. Facing this, whether you think it’s fair or not, is important and mature. While it can be exciting and flattering to be attractive to a senior manager or executive, the relationship can take more of a toll on the person who has less to leverage in the way of company clout.
- Finding a way to transfer to another area within a company can be an excellent strategy, or look for another job in a different department. A manager who has established trust with their staff may become a helpful ally should a romantic situation call for some workplace changes, but remember that this could be a sticky too as they have obligations to protect the company. It’s just so easy for romance in the workplace to become the target of gossip and misconstrued communication.
Lastly remember that companies have the right to monitor electronic communications of their employees to ensure that all messages are legitimate and clean. If you want to protect job and your relationship, be sure to avoid sending any dirty flirty text messages, emails and instant messages on the company time or dime.
HELPING FAMILIES: New Directions in Consensual Dispute Resolution
Cutting edge, theories, techniques, tactics and tools.
The State Bar Family Law Section CDR/ADR Standing Committee (South)
Dispute Resolution Services, Inc.,
Los Angeles County Bar Association and LACBA Family Law Section
invite you to attend our Spring Symposium
HELPING FAMILIES: New Directions in Consensual Dispute Resolution
Cutting edge, theories, techniques, tactics and tools.
Saturday, April 10, 2010, 8:30 a.m. – 1:30 p.m.
Pepperdine University School of Law
Tips for the ever-increasing long-term unemployed
In the last year and a half, Ralph Ferdinand, who is looking for a job in technology sales in Los Angeles, has been laid off twice, the second time being just a month or so ago.
“After I was laid off the first time, I sent out approximately 400 resumes, and none yielded a job. Finally, I was hired by a person I had known for a long time. I took it, even though it really wasn’t an industry I wanted to be in, and then I got laid off again.”
Mr. Ferdinand is not alone. According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, in January there were 6.3 million long-term (without work for more than 27 weeks) unemployed workers in the U.S, which is 5.0 million more than there were in December 2007, at the start of the recession. An unemployed worker is now out of work an average of over 30 weeks, a number that has also been steadily increasing.
“These numbers are at historic highs,” says John Challenger, Chief Executive Officerof Challenger, Gray & Christmas, an outplacement and business coaching consultancy based in Chicago. “This is a really unusual job market. I have never seen a situation where so many quality people are out of work for so long. In past recessions, they would have found work long ago.”
But even this difficult job market, career coaches say there are things that the long-term unemployed can do to increase their chances of being hired. First, make sure your job search objectives are in line with current market needs.
“There are certain markets that are stronger than others,” says Wendy Enelow, a Virginia-based author, trainer and career consultant who has written over 30 books on the subject. “If you aren’t in one of the growth industries, try to find the growth area of that industry.”
Consulting work is another option for long-term unemployed workers, as some industries may be more willing to hire individuals for part-time or consulting jobs rather than hiring full-time employees. This would not only fill in the gaps on a resume, it would also keep a job seeker’s skills relevant. The best consulting jobs would be those in the individual’s direct field and that come with the potential for a full-time hire.
Continuing to network, both online and off-line is also important, even if it feels repetitive. Touch base with contacts every six months or so to get their feel for who is hiring in the industry. Join professional groups on LinkedIn, the professional networking site, which often send out emails with jobs listings. Also, if possible, when you do meet with contacts, try to make it a two-way street. In other words, find a way to help your networking contact as well.
Most importantly, be creative. This helped Tina Poole, an architect looking for work in Los Angeles and who has been out of work for nearly a year, and was receiving few responses from the firms to which she had sent her resume.
“Just a few weeks ago, I called a firm to check in with a guy with whom I had interviewed before, but they said he had left to start his own firm; however, they wouldn’t give me his contact information. But since I was so linked into the local scene here, I almost immediately found his name in an article in a local magazine discussing a new building he had under construction. I found his number online, and recently met with him about his project,” she said.
Daisy Swan, a career strategist with Daisy Swan & Associates in Los Angeles, says others may want to consider going back to school to learn new skills. ”Industries have changed so dramatically. I find the clients who are having the hardest time are the ones who keep trying to make things go back to the way they were.”
She says we will also begin to see more accidental entrepreneurs, like Brandi Coleman, a former secretary in Los Angeles who has been out of work for over a year. She says after filling out countless applications with no responses, she has decided go into business for herself.
“I noticed this woman standing outside selling umbrellas when it was raining. Within a few hours, she had sold them all. I thought to myself, why can’t I do that? So I am going to get my food business license and start selling bottled water and things at these outdoor events.”
Most importantly, job coaches say, try to keep your spirits up. Spend the extra time with family and friends. Join other job seeker groups. Take time to exercise to clear your head.
“I try to set goals for myself, usually several contacts or job applications per day,” says Mr. Ferdinand. “When I hit that goal, it is enough to keep me going. I will find a job eventually. It is not about working hard, it is about working smart.”
Daisy Swan answers Single Edition’s Job Search Questions
Q: The economic downturn has had a severe impact on older workers, leaving many of them unemployed and unable to find new work. How can those individuals who are suffering this type of career setback maintain their self-esteem so that it does not interfere in their personal relationships and search for love?
This is a great question. I think it’s really a shame that people believe that they have to put their search for personally meaningful relationships on hold if they’ve lost a job or are in the process of looking for a new position. The assumption is that we won’t be viewed as strong or capable if we are in a job search; that something is ‘wrong’ with us if we aren’t employed. This simply isn’t true. This is really more about a belief that we ‘are’ what we do, or that our ‘worth’ comes from our earning capability and our day-to-day work. There’s no doubt about it — we do get a lot of our personal identity from our work. The wonderful gift of being without employment is that we have time to explore other work options, and have time for the often forgotten activities and people who were once more important to us. I talk to clients all the time who wish to have more time to find a mate or a companion and are working crazy hours. They don’t have the time to spend their money! Sometimes a layoff becomes the best gift a person can receive — if they can allow themselves to look at it that way — so that they can replenish themselves and become an interesting person beyond the person they’ve been at work. So essentially, it’s all in the way we choose to approach this time of unemployment. A man or woman can become more empowered during a time of unemployment if they choose to look at this as a gift that will result in a happier life in the long run. And, of course, it may mean being a little more clever about dates. Really, there are so many fun and creative ways to enjoy another person’s company that doesn’t rely on expensive activities – and in fact many ‘free’ activities offer more of an opportunity for people to get to know each other in a more meaningful way.
Q: “If you like what you do, love will find you.” Clearly, this becomes harder after retirement so what are some of the ways in which boomers can continue to stay involved in their passions and connected with other individuals?
The second adulthood time is rich with opportunities to ‘love what you do,’ and be energized by the options life has to offer. A client of mine was 72 — he was getting bored with his life, doing routine things. I found out that he loved traveling to countries and he wanted to go on a trip to Italy. He didn’t realize he could take Italian language classes online. Once we found a class he was interested in he started having a ball! He started spending hours learning Italian and practicing it with friends at local restaurants and began planning his next trip. Others find that getting involved in political or non-profit organizations has an energizing impact on their spirit. What’s more exiting, when you’re meeting people, than someone who’s turned on by the meaningful ideas and activities in their life? It’s never too late to find this kind of excitement in life. Boomers have a real advantage because they are, for the most part, healthy and educated and have the wherewithal to research and find the activities that can be fun, and alluring, for them.
Q: According to a July 2009 Careerbuilders.com study, nearly one quarter of workers aged 55 and over who were laid off last year said they were considering starting their own business. What advice would you give to would-be entrepreneurs who are approaching their golden years?
I think having your own venture is a wonderful undertaking, especially for motivated and creative boomers, because it offers flexibility, independence and the ability to utilize skills and knowledge developed from years in the marketplace. Of course it’s always important to do your homework. That means, if you have an idea that you want to pursue, you need to do the necessary research to really understand the viability of your idea…and not get discouraged at the first bump or possible hiccup. There are so many great resources online to understand the demographics of a neighborhood, let’s say, or to research prices of materials. The most important two things I think of is understanding your motivation for the business and also knowing your financial projections and how realistic they are. Small Business Development Centers or the Small Business Administration can be helpful to conduct a smart ‘reality check.’ It’s also important to have the right people or team to support you when you’re moving forward with your own business. Nobody does everything themselves — if you need help with marketing or financials, find the right people to help. Don’t think help needs to be expensive. There are lots of freelance consultants (look at www.guru.com for instance) who can off advice and help for a nominal fee. Sometimes investing in professional help can make all the difference in a launching a successful endeavor.
Q: Romances can flourish in the workplace but what should individuals consider before entering an office relationship?
Another good and important question! Many office cultures now have policies regarding in-office relationships. Know the policies before getting involved with someone…it could mean the difference between having a job or not! The issues are complex when it comes to hierarchy between people in an office. Sexual politics can turn sour very quickly. If you are going to get involved with someone think about how closely aligned your colleagues, departments or bosses are. Think about it like this: How comfortable would you be dating someone who lived across the street or hall from you? If you feel a little cringe about this thought, then don’t go forward with the relationship. Wait it out. If the relationship becomes so enticing it might be worthwhile to look for a new job to minimize workplace issues.
Q: You offer Job Search & Networking Groups for Mid-Career Life Stages. Can you tell us a little bit more about the program?
These groups have been so helpful for people who have found themselves in a situation they never thought they’d be in. People who have had really successful careers have suddenly found themselves writing the first resume they’ve needed in a decade. Being with others who are also creating a ‘plan B’ is so helpful and inspiring. In our groups people learn ways to effectively talk about what they’re looking for, learn strategies for networking and utilizing new technologies to research opportunities or find helpful people, writing an effective resume for the job they want. We keep the groups to under 10 people so everyone gets individualized attention, and everyone has the opportunity to learn from others experiences. Finding and being with a community during a job search is so valuable. People often isolate when they are looking for work. These groups offer a safe, and even fun, place to talk about what’s really happening; and we at Daisy Swan & Associates are all very grounded and positive so we keep people focused on the possibilities even when we might hear stories that can be discouraging. We keep the groups looking forward to taking energizing and useful actions. And people make great friends who are in different social circles; that helps to increase the ‘networking pool’ for everyone.
Q: Any other word of wisdom you care to share with our readers?
Being curious about the world and all of the changes we’re going through can be challenging sometimes when you just want things to go back to the way they were. We have all experienced so much change in the past five years, 10 years. It’s only going to keep going this way. So I encourage people to embrace change and uncertainty with as much humor and willingness as possible. If you aren’t familiar with new technologies push yourself to take a class or enlist one of your kids to help with your ‘education.’ Being up-to-date will feel good and empowering and also bring more fun to your experience. Really. Boomers are so smart about so many things; we’re going to see so much more evolve in the next decade. I think we’re alive at a really cool time. Embrace it. There’s really no wrong time to become a student of life, and being open to change is really sexy, don’t you think?
ICF-LA November Meeting
Daisy Swan presented Building & Maintaining a Successful Coaching Practice at the International Coach Federation – Los Angeles Chapter, November 18, 2009 in Culver City, California.
From the meeting announcement:
Whether you’re trying to figure out how to take your coaching practice to the next level or just starting out in the business, our November ICF-LA event has something for everyone.
Daisy Swan is a career strategist, coach, and counselor. She’s worked with hundreds of clients over the past 17 years and along the way, built an extremely successful coaching practice.
Coaches at all levels will gain insights from Daisy as she shares how she built a substantial, professional coaching business. While this is not a ‘how to’, quick fix presentation, you will hear directly from Daisy the tactics she’s employed to help grow her business by 20%+ every year for the past 5 years. In this session, you will learn:
- How to ride out a downturn and keep clients coming
- Tips on how to continue to develop to deliver great services
- Strategies on how to manage finances and scheduling
- When and how to use assistants, or not
- What has and hasn’t worked over the years
You will also have the opportunity to have your questions answered by Daisy. This will be an interactive event.
Source: Pasadena Star-News, 09/01/2009
“This is a time to stretch out and try new things, and go beyond the job boards,” said Daisy Swan, a career strategist with Daisy Swan & Associates in Los Angeles.
Source: LA Weekly, February 27, 2009
For media inquiries, please contact email@example.com or call 1-877-872-3929 to request a copy of Daisy’s media kit.